Day 65: Intercession

On day 34, I prayed that God would change my heart. Yesterday, I prayed that he would change yours. This was my prayer:

I praise you, Father, that in your wisdom you placed my wife and I together. Help me to value her for the treasure that she is. She’s diligent, working all day to care for her children and staying up every night to keep up our home. She’s wise and kind. She has compassion on the needy. I praise you that she’s all these things and much more.

Lord I pray that she would love you with all her heart, soul, mind, and strength. Help her fear you, the creator and sustainer of the universe, the one who holds her life in his hands. Let her magnify your name in our family and among our friends and neighbors. May she place you above all things.

I pray that she would love me, even when I don’t deserve it. Give her grace to continually do me good, and not harm. May she remain faithful to me throughout our marriage. Increase her gentleness and patience with me.

Grant her strength and love in caring for our children. May she be kind and gentle with them. Let her joy continually bring light to our home and marriage. Fill her heart with peace.

Already you’ve given her with all of these things. Please give them all the more.

Day 58: Wife Appreciation Day

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I dedicated all of yesterday to showing you that I appreciate you. I started by making you, and everyone else, pancakes for breakfast. I put your pancakes on the “You Are Special Today” plate, with butter, peanut butter, thawed strawberries, and syrup–made by me–on the side. I also made you coffee with cream and sugar. By the way, you told me yesterday that you no longer take sugar in your coffee. We’ll see if that’s still the case when you read this a year from now. After we ate, I washed the dishes and put away the food.

For lunch, I took our family out on a picnic (in November! I love you, California!). While we were eating, I had everyone say something about you that they appreciate. I said I’m thankful that you take such good care of our children. Our oldest daughter said she’s thankful that you love her. Our middle daughter said, “Dear God, I’m thank you for my mom and dad. Amen.” Our newborn came up dry (and after all you’ve done for her).

In the afternoon, our oldest daughter and I presented you with thank-you cards, along with your “flowers” for the week (this week you chose a miniature Christmas tree). Finally, for dinner I made you your favorite meal: fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and gravy. Dang, look how domestic I am.

I meant to end the day by cleaning up the living room and kitchen for you, but I just couldn’t–my exhaustion from the day got the better of me. You seemed to enjoy Wife Appreciation Day because you kept saying that you really like your new husband. Maybe we’ll make it a post-Thanksgiving tradition.

Day 57: “I Thank My God Every Time I Remember You”

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I came up with a list of 100 things about you that I thank God for. You haven’t seen this list yet.

1. You’re the girl of my dreams.

2. You encourage me to grow in character.

3. Your own character encourages me to grow in character.

4. We get to learn and grow and struggle together.

5. Your strengths are many.

6. Our strengths and weaknesses complement each other.

7. You have a child-like faith in God, while I’m always questioning, always doubting, never satisfied.

8. You make me relax, though I want to keep going all the time.

9. You make me have fun.

10. We can be silly with each other.

11. You’ve believed in me all these years that I’ve been pursuing my dream.

12. You haven’t once questioned my vision.

13. You gave up much to let me follow my dream.

14. You haven’t complained once that many of our sacrifices are a result of my pursuit of my dream.

15. You’re patient with my shortcomings

16. You pray for me, that I’ll become like Christ.

17. You want me to lead you.

18. You want me to romance you.

19. You invest greatly in our marriage.

20. You love doing devotions with me.

21. You love to pray with me.

22. You long for a great relationship with me and won’t settle for mediocrity.

23. You smile and nod when I talk about philosophy and theology.

24. We have a great connection.

25. You’re warm and tender with me.

26. You haven’t become bitter with me, even though you have reason to.

27. You continually forgive me, even when I fail in the same areas over and over again.

28. You don’t keep a record of wrongs.

29. You love giving gifts to others.

30. I see the fruit of the Spirit in you.

31. You’re glad when others are glad.

32. You care more for character/spiritual growth and wisdom than money and things.

33. You want people to know Jesus.

34. You have a heart for the “down and out.”

35. You want to feed and clothe the needy.

36. You have a heart for orphans.

37. You cry for the needs of orphans.

38. You pray for orphans.

39. You want to adopt.

40. You’re gentle.

41. You’re sweet.

42. You’re kind.

43. You’re friendly.

44. You’re easy going.

45. You welcome new people.

46. You show love even to strangers.

47. You’re (almost) always joyful.

48. You don’t worry even when our circumstances look bad.

49. You trust God in bad situations.

50. Your anger isn’t long lasting.

51. Your patience is.

52. You never boast about yourself.

53. You encourage others in their talents.

54. You love God.

55. You long to know God.

56. You long to know the Bible.

57. You want to continually fellowship with God’s people.

58. You’re hot!

59. You have a  great body.

60. You have deep, beautiful, brown eyes.

61. You have great lips that I love to kiss.

62. You have long, curly, brown hair.

63. You love our children.

64. You want them to know God.

65. You teach them about God.

66. You pray for them.

67. You take great care of them.

68. You give up your wants and sometimes your needs for them.

69. You have a great relationship with your parents.

70. You do much to foster that relationship.

71. You want to see your brothers and sisters grow in maturity and their knowledge of God.

72. You get along well with my family.

73. You want to see my family often.

74. You have a great laugh.

75. You think I’m funny.

76. You laugh at most of my jokes.

77. You love life.

78. You almost never stop smiling.

79. Your smile is infectious.

80. You like to watch movies with me.

81. You like superhero movies.

82. You watch movies I like with me, even though you hate most of them.

83. You go on hikes with me even though you hate hikes.

84. You want to look good for me.

85. You tried running, just so you could run with me.

86. You tried P90x with me.

87. You love the Bubba Gump Shrimp Company Restaurant.

88. Whenever we move to a new place, you’re able to make it feel like home.

89. You’re artistic.

90. You want to develop your artistic abilities for God’s glory.

91. You’ve gone camping with me, though you dislike camping.

92. You share a dream with me to travel the world.

93. You graciously agreed to get a minivan, even though you thought it would make you look old.

94. We share a love for The Chronicles of Narnia.

95. You tolerate my love for LOTR.

96. You recently started reading A LOT.

97. You’d rather be with me than with friends.

98. You like to try out different chocolates.

99. You like to try out different cheeses.

100. You wanted to marry a guy like me.

Day 54: Forgiveness

I’ve caused you much pain in the course of our marriage, whether intentionally or not. My tongue is one of my primary instruments in this regard. Sometimes I say something careless and it causes you pain. Sometimes I say something mean, whether premeditated or not, in order to cause you pain. And a few times in our marriage, I’ve said things so hurtful to you that, even now, I bow my head in shame as I consider them.

Last night, I sat you down and listed these and other sins I’ve committed against you and asked for your forgiveness. You forgave me. I then asked you whether you could think of anything else for which I needed to ask for your forgiveness. You couldn’t. But you brought up some wrongs you’ve committed against me and asked me to forgive you. I forgave you. When we finished, I laid my head on your lap as you sat on the couch, and I fell asleep. I don’t know whether our forgiveness talk had anything to do with this, but my sleep was deep and it was sweet.

Day 26: Love Is Not Self-seeking

Last night while we watched a movie, I brushed your hair. (Can I be honest? Though I enjoyed doing it, I didn’t do it with the best attitude.) You’ve told me that you enjoy having your hair brushed, especially by me, but I haven’t done it much. Why not, though? I know you enjoy it and it’s not difficult. Why do I often choose laziness over service? Why do I consistently choose my interests over yours? I’m not sure, but I know this–“love is not self-seeking” (I Cor. 13:5). Selflessness is necessary for a loving relationship. In order to grow in love for you, I must daily deny myself and serve you. I hope that during this year, my character strengthens enough that I commit these acts of service from a genuine desire for your well being. May God help me in this pursuit. I cannot do it alone.

Day 6

On day six, I gave you a love note. I’ve already given you flowers, so now all I’m missing is chocolate (unless chocolate ice cream counts). As the days progress, I’ll be forced to repeat myself or actually be creative in deciding what loving acts to commit. The love note needed to happen, though, because you’re always telling me how much you like them and how I never give them. So, overall, I’m happy with the acts I’ve chosen. You’re happy, I’m happy, and our relationship is already warming (not that it was ice cold).

My Resolution

You are my beloved and I am yours. But after several years of marriage, I’ve grown passive about our relationship–no longer do I passionately pursue your love nor express mine. I’m not sure how or why this happened, but I know that I want it to change. I love you, but desire to love you more and want you to feel loved by me. So, starting today I’m resolving to commit a different, intentional act of love for you every day for a year, so that our relationship may thrive once again. (Don’t get me wrong–I hope that all the days of all my life are filled with acts of love for you!) By blogging about this journey, I hope to preserve the memory of this year as a gift to you.