Day 270: Weekly Prayer

For Sunday’s act of love (6/24), I read through the first chapter of The Power of a Praying Husband. The focus was on becoming the right kind of husband, one who is (among other things) of one mind with his wife, compassionate, loving, tenderhearted, and courteous.

The first is not something a husband has complete control over. Like the tango, being of one mind takes two. However, I can do my part to help us become of one mind: I can pray for that end, that there would be no division or quarrels in our marriage, but that we would continue to share the same purpose of devoting our lives to glorifying God and making him known.

The latter four struck me hard because I need a lot of work in each of those areas. As an example, here are a couple of questions she asked:

Do you ever talk to your wife in a way that would be considered rude if you were speaking to a friend or business associate? Are you kind to everyone all day at work, but then you take out your frustration, exhaustion, and anger on your wife when you get home?

I answered yes to each of them. Although my behavior toward you isn’t characterized by rudeness and I don’t often take out my frustration etc. on you when I get home from work, I still recognize these tendencies in me. May the God of all peace make me a peacemaker rather than a divider in our marriage.

I pray that there would be peace in our marriage and unity, and that we’d be of the same mind and judgment. May I be tenderhearted toward you and   compassionate, loving, and courteous. May I live with you in an understanding way. Praise God that we worship the same God and desire to live under his authority.

Day 144: Your Love Is Kind

You’re such a kind person that it amazes me. So yesterday, I thanked God that he’s made you kind by his grace. Then, I prayed that he would increase your kindness and bring you opportunities to be kind.

He answered my prayers. When I came home in the afternoon for a break from work, you let me play with the kids while you prepared a great meal for us. Then after we ate, you let me take a short nap on the couch before I went back to work. Thank you so much.

 

Day 142: Love and Respect CD #2

Tonight we listened to the second CD of the Love and Respect Conference. The Crazy Cycle, which perpetuates by the husband’s lack of love and the wife’s lack of respect, surfaces in our marriage every now and again. It’s good to be aware of it so that when we can stop it before it starts.

Lately, I’ve been a little inconsiderate in the way I relate to you. Honestly, in the back of my mind I’m thinking I can get away with it because of everything else I’m doing for you through 365. That’s not very kind. I’m going to work on that before it turns into something big.

 

Day 140: Love is Kind

On Wednesday, I acted on my resolve to develop the characteristics of love in myself (I Cor. 13), by praying that God would instill kindness in me, then looking for opportunities to be kind. I can’t think of any particularly noteworthy opportunities I had, but there were plenty of pedestrian ones. Perhaps I should’ve made opportunities to be kind rather than wait for them to come to me.

Day 126: Greeting Card

Last night, I gave you a greeting card for the first time through 365. You didn’t react like they do in the Hallmark commercials when they get a greeting card, but you still seemed appreciative. Wait . . . was mine even a Hallmark card? I don’t know. Maybe that was the problem.

Day 116: Reflections on Sacrifice

On Sunday, I spent a long day at church, then had to work for several more hours when I came home. I didn’t want to commit my act of love for the day because I was so tired. The only thing that compelled me to commit it was my desire to be consistent with 365.

So, between working at church and home, I trudged up the stairs, bleached the bathtub, and prepared a bath for you. You didn’t want a bubble bath, so I left out the bubbles, but I did light a fragrant candle and place it by the tub.

I planned on watching the baby while you took your bath, but the baby was asleep, so my job was easy–to let you take your bath in peace. You did. You also gave yourself a pedicure. Then you came downstairs refreshed and relaxed.

365’s forced me to make changes to my day, and even my lifestyle, in order to show you (however imperfectly) love and kindness. These sacrifices, though momentary and light, have prompted me to reflect on Christ’s sacrifice for me. The personal and tangible nature of my (small) sacrifices has made me realize how personal and tangible his sacrifice was. Christ, a real person, gave up his position in heaven to suffer and die in space and time on my behalf. He felt the pain of whips, the weight of the cross, and the sting of nails; the pain of wrath, the weight of sin, and the sting of betrayal. Compared to his sacrifice, (understatement alert!) mine is negligible. But the point is, Christ’s love for me has become more real as I’ve felt some of the pain (and joy: more on that later) of serving you.

What’s more, my deeper understanding of Christ’s sacrifice for me has resulted in my greater desire to sacrifice for you. I suspect this cycle will continue—as I serve you more, I’ll understand better how Christ served me (my Lord served me? How unthinkable!), which understanding will compel me to serve you more.

Day 110: Coffee Card

Per my commitment on day 107, I brought back the wildly popular five-dollar coffee card yesterday. Each time I’ve bought you coffee or a coffee card through 365, you’ve showered me with gratitude and affection. Last night was no different.

I needed to do some work after dinner, so I went to my office. Afterwards, I stopped by Starbucks and bought you a five-dollar coffee card and grabbed an empty coffee cup. I put the card in the cup, then came home. When you answered the door, I said, “I know how much you like Starbucks, so I brought you this paper Starbucks cup for you to put coffee in. Do you want me to make you some right now?” “Oh, thanks! I’ll use it for the hot chocolate I just made,” you replied with a comically exaggerated smile. I handed you the cup. You saw the card and shrieked, jumped up and down, and flung your arms around me, hugging me tightly.

Day 109: A Rose

For my second act (of the acts you seemed to most enjoy from the first 100 days—see day 107), I gave you a white rose. You certainly enjoy your weekly flowers, but you’ve come to expect them (which isn’t a bad thing). So I wanted to surprise you by bringing you a flower I don’t usually bring on a day you don’t usually get flowers.

With the rose, I wanted to give you a line of poetry written by me (which is something I haven’t done before through 365). Nothing big, just a single line of poetry. I spent a bit of time while doing chores trying to think of something nice, something elegant. I’m definitely not a poet, so I wasn’t expecting Pushkin-quality writing. But everything I came up with smacked of sappiness. So, I started over and embraced and even exaggerated the sappiness. Here’s what I gave you:

Less beautiful is this here rose,
Than either of your little toes,
And when I look upon your knee,
I’m filled with rapture and with glee,
No elbows found in all the land,
Are finer, neater, or more grand,
And if one looks upon your chin,
His adoration does begin,
No man nor child would hesitate,
Your uvula to adulate,
No waterscape with moonlit sand,
Could rival your pineal gland,
Your ears do strike each passerby
As prettier than earth and sky,
So all in all, you see, my dear,
You’re beautiful from toe to ear.

PS: Perhaps the world’s not ready for my poetic genius.

Day 108: Back Massage

On day 107, I decided that, for the next week, I would commit the kinds of acts from the first 100 days that you liked best. Well, I’m starting a day early. My first act was a back massage. You practically beg me to give you these, so I almost can’t go wrong by complying.

Sometimes, I know you have a certain need, but I’m not sure how to meet it or I know how to meet it but don’t have the right resources to meet it. Meeting your need for a back massage is so straightforward and easy. I love it!

Day 107: Meeting Your Needs

Months back, you asked me to go through my tools to get rid of the ones that were no longer usable. I put off doing it for so long that you stopped mentioning it. So, yesterday, I decided to get it done. You were relieved that I finally did it, but still didn’t understand why it took me so long. I’ll tell you why—utter laziness, which stems from self-centeredness

I committed this act because I’ve been thinking lately about how I put a bunch of time into this blog and into committing acts of love for you, but I put off doing certain things that you want me to do. (I don’t put stuff off at work. So my procrastination seems very selective.)

Then I started wondering (thanks to this blog) whether or not the acts I commit through 365 fulfill your needs. Here’s a (fictional) example: if you really need me to spend time with you and you don’t care for gifts, but I neglect my time with you to buy or make you gifts, then I’m not loving you very effectively.

In light of this, I asked you the other night whether or not I’m meeting your needs. You said you feel completely satisfied with how I’m showing you love and with our relationship. Great! Still, I decided that this next week, I’m going to commit those kinds of acts from the first 100 days that you seemed to like best (starts Sunday, ends Saturday). In addition, I’m going ask you to make a list of the things you want me to do around the house or whatever. I’ll work on completing that list.