Day 270: Weekly Prayer

For Sunday’s act of love (6/24), I read through the first chapter of The Power of a Praying Husband. The focus was on becoming the right kind of husband, one who is (among other things) of one mind with his wife, compassionate, loving, tenderhearted, and courteous.

The first is not something a husband has complete control over. Like the tango, being of one mind takes two. However, I can do my part to help us become of one mind: I can pray for that end, that there would be no division or quarrels in our marriage, but that we would continue to share the same purpose of devoting our lives to glorifying God and making him known.

The latter four struck me hard because I need a lot of work in each of those areas. As an example, here are a couple of questions she asked:

Do you ever talk to your wife in a way that would be considered rude if you were speaking to a friend or business associate? Are you kind to everyone all day at work, but then you take out your frustration, exhaustion, and anger on your wife when you get home?

I answered yes to each of them. Although my behavior toward you isn’t characterized by rudeness and I don’t often take out my frustration etc. on you when I get home from work, I still recognize these tendencies in me. May the God of all peace make me a peacemaker rather than a divider in our marriage.

I pray that there would be peace in our marriage and unity, and that we’d be of the same mind and judgment. May I be tenderhearted toward you and   compassionate, loving, and courteous. May I live with you in an understanding way. Praise God that we worship the same God and desire to live under his authority.

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Day 243: Weekly Prayer

This is the third week that I’ve done a special prayer session for our marriage since I committed to praying for our marriage. May God work through these prayers to bring mighty changes to our marriage for his glory.

Day 212: On My Knees to Love You

Since my brother and his family will be here for the weekend, I decided to keep 365 things simple: for the next few days, I’m going to pray for our marriage for my acts of love. Even though that’s simple, it’s one of the most important things I can do to love you and to help our relationship.

On Friday, then, I (literally) got down on my knees in our living room and sought help for our marriage from my heavenly Father. Nothing I prayed was new or exciting, but everything I prayed was important. I asked God to give me the grace I need to love you sacrificially, to give me a passion for you, to protect our marriage from infidelity, to make us people of integrity, and to do all this for his glory. In asking for these things, I’m not implying that I don’t need to do anything to bring them about. In fact, I anticipate doing some dang hard work.

I don’t expect that our marriage will be successful if we pray for it intermittently (though God can use many means to accomplish his ends). Instead, it’ll come from (among other things) daily and sincere cryings out to the only true God. In this light, I hope that prayer for our marriage doesn’t (simply) occur as an act of love through this blog, but is such a part of our lives that we can’t imagine living without it.

Day 186: Prayer for our Marriage

On Sunday, I asked you what issue in our marriage we should pray about. You said we should pray that we would stop trying to change each other and that we should use that same energy on improving our own characters. That we would be patient with each other’s quirks and forgiving with each other’s mess-ups. We prayed for those things.

I think you identified some key areas in which we need to grow. It was humbling, but beneficial, to hear you say those things.

Day 176: Praying with You

Lately, I’ve been feeling overwhelmed with and inadequate for the demands of being a good husband and father. The truth is, on my own I am inadequate for these demands.

So, for my act of love, I lead us in prayer for our marriage and family. We prayed that God would make us people of integrity who do his will over our own. That we would love God more than ourselves or each other and that this, in turn, would increase our love for each other. We prayed that because of our love for each other, we would put each other’s needs over our own and that we would sacrifice for each other. We prayed for strength to raise our kids in a way that honors God and for patience with and love for them. Finally, we prayed that God would bring glory to his name through all of this. May these things be so, dear Lord.

Day 94: A Prayer for 2012

For my 94^th act of love, I composed a prayer for us for 2012:

I pray, Father, that in 2012 you would increase my wife’s and my love for you, for each other, and for others. May we love and desire you above all else. Help us to hate evil and cling to good (Rom. 5:9). I pray that our love would bring unity to our marriage, and that we would cast enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, and envy far from us. May we live by the Spirit (Gal. 5:20).

Work love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control into our hearts (Gal. 5:22-23).  May we be patient, kind, humble, slow to anger, others centered, and forgiving (I Cor. 13). Help us live in purity of thought and action (I Thess. 4:3-5). I pray that we would continually dwell on those true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, and praiseworthy things (Phil. 4:8).

As you work love into our hearts, I pray it would overflow in the giving of ourselves—our time, energy, money, etc.—to those in need. I pray that we’d look to each other’s interests as well as the interests of others (Phil. 2:4). May we be children of God without blemish, shining as lights in the world (Phil. 2:15).

I pray that we would not lose heart, but would press on by your grace in 2012 (Phil. 3:14). In all this, may we please and glorify you (I Thess. 4:1). Amen.

Day 65: Intercession

On day 34, I prayed that God would change my heart. Yesterday, I prayed that he would change yours. This was my prayer:

I praise you, Father, that in your wisdom you placed my wife and I together. Help me to value her for the treasure that she is. She’s diligent, working all day to care for her children and staying up every night to keep up our home. She’s wise and kind. She has compassion on the needy. I praise you that she’s all these things and much more.

Lord I pray that she would love you with all her heart, soul, mind, and strength. Help her fear you, the creator and sustainer of the universe, the one who holds her life in his hands. Let her magnify your name in our family and among our friends and neighbors. May she place you above all things.

I pray that she would love me, even when I don’t deserve it. Give her grace to continually do me good, and not harm. May she remain faithful to me throughout our marriage. Increase her gentleness and patience with me.

Grant her strength and love in caring for our children. May she be kind and gentle with them. Let her joy continually bring light to our home and marriage. Fill her heart with peace.

Already you’ve given her with all of these things. Please give them all the more.

Day 34: 24-Hour Fast for Heart Change

If I don’t increase in love for you through the course of this year, I’ll consider my project a partial failure. Although I think it’s important to express my love for you, I desire more to increase in love for you. I want my heart to change. Toward this end, I fasted for 24 hours yesterday and prayed for our relationship through six ten-minute sessions. In the next several posts, I’ll write about what I prayed for in each of those sessions (though I’ll continue writing about my acts of love).

For the first session, I focused on the character and glory of God. I prayed through God’s attributes following J. I. Packer’s Knowing God. I praised God because he never changes, he’s majestic and wise, his word is truth, he’s full of love, grace, and goodness, and he judges and pours out his wrath on the wicked. I acknowledged that I need to submit to his authority and control over my life and our marriage. God is king. May he be king over my heart. I also prayed that God would receive glory through our marriage, and that I would desire his glorification above all else. Less of me, more of God.