Burn Out or: Excuses, Excuses

You may have noticed (*cough cough*) that there have been long periods of time between my posts. Life is busy, that’s for sure, but life was busy this last year and I was still able to manage a consistent posting schedule. So here’s the reason why my posts have been sporadic–I got burned out with the blog. Seriously burned out. But what should I have expected? I took on a project of enormous proportions.

To my credit, I did the most important part of the project consistently and right to the very end, that is, the daily acts of love. But once I hit that 366th day, it’s like something in me shut off and posting on the blog become torturous work. I think the breaks have been good for me, then. I needed that time of rest and refreshment that I got. If I would’ve posted to the end, I would’ve grown to detest this project very much. As it is, though, the project is dear to me and I’m so proud of the stuff we’ve accomplished through it. I think it’ll be dear to you as well.

By not posting consistently, I may have disappointed my readers. That’s fine, as long as the one reader for which I actually did the blog is well pleased. [Don’t get me wrong, readers; I appreciate you very much.]

I’m not saying that I’ll now post every day until I finish. I hope I do. But I am saying that I’m ready and excited to finish up 365 and to present it to you. I’m also excited to extend the habits that I formed through 365 to every day of the rest of our lives.

Here’s my modest goal and my commitment to you and my readers: I’ll have 365 Acts of Love finished by Valentine’s Day so that I can present it to you then.

Day 356: Weekly Article: Money Matters

I read this article, for my 356th act of love, on how to get along with your spouse when dealing with/discussing money matters. Dave Ramsey has been a favorite money expert of mine for a while. I’m one of the nerds that he talks about in the article: those who enjoy making budgets and have a hard time budging from them once they’re set. You, on the other had, are a free spirit: one who hates budgets and wants to be free with her money rather than put every dollar into its own budget category. Naturally, then, there is some tension between us when we go over money issues.

Ramsey had some good stuff to say, though, about being willing to compromise (which money nerds have a hard time willing) and about making a budget that we both can agree upon and that fits our income and needs. That’s so easy to write and incredibly hard to do. Even I have grown tired lately of sticking to a budget and have ignored financial matters somewhat in an effort to relieve my stress. But, long term, I think we’re on track, even though the road is long and steep! I think in 50 years we’ll be able to say (assuming we continue on our current path) that we did well with our money, even if there were bumps and setbacks (due to our mistakes) along the way.

 

Day 355: Weekly Prayer: Your Purpose

For day 355, I read and prayed through chapter 13 of Omartian’s The Power of a Praying Husband, called “Her Purpose.” When Omartian asked various women what they wanted their husbands to pray for regarding their purpose, they answered that they wanted prayer that they would understand God’s purpose for their life, that they would be able to recognize their gifts and talents, that they would be the wife God wants them to be, that they would be a wife deserving of honor and respect, that they would be the wife their husbands need them to be, that they would use their gifts to help others, and that they would fulfill God’s call on their lives. I prayed for all of these things for you on day 355, and more.

If you don’t recognize your gifts and talents, I do (at least some of the many). You’re very artistic, you are great with our kids, you’re good with people, you can tolerate me, you know how to handle me, and you do a great Irish jig.

In addition, I think you’re just the wife God wants you to be. Though you’re imperfect, you’re growing, and you’re already a tremendous marriage partner.

You deserve honor and respect as well, for trudging with me through years of graduate school, for putting up with me through my slow character growth, for shining as a light with our girls, and for making life fun. I just hope I give you the honor and respect you deserve.

I’ve seen you use your gifts for others. The time and energy that you invest in our children is a prime example. Though you’ve desired to go back to school, you’ve put that aside in order to focus on our children. Since you’re so great with them, the investment has been paying off very well.

Whatever God’s “call” or “purpose” for your life is, you’re honoring him by doing and being all of the above. I pray that you would acknowledge him in all your ways so that he makes your path straight.

 

 

 

Day 354: Apple Cider?

I’m going to be real honest here. I don’t know what act of love I did for you on day 354. I have in a Word document that for my act of love on day 354, “Apple Cider.” I thought that maybe you would remember so I asked you if you did:

“No, I don’t remember doing anything with apple cider,” you replied

“Well, I have it in my notes that we did something with apple cider on day 354.”

Apparently, whatever we did, it wasn’t life changing. But it had something to do with  apple cider. I’d like to think we spent the day in a cabin on a lake, sipping apple cider by a warm fire. Or maybe, we just had some apple cider together at home. Nah–I’m sure it was the former.

Day 353: Your (Partial) Day Away

For day 353, I told you I would watch the girls for the day while you did whatever you wanted (I made sure to tell you ahead of time). I expected you to drive to your mom’s to go shopping or to read a book in your room for hours or to go out with one of your friends or a combination of these. Instead, you said you didn’t want the day away, but wanted a few hours alone to get some rest. I tried to convince you to take the whole day, but you insisted that you didn’t want it. So, what could I do but honor your request? I watched the girls while you took a few hours for yourself to get all rested up. These times away should be a regular occurrence!

Day 352: Redbox

Long, long ago (9/14, I believe) on a Friday night, you sent me out to Redbox to get whatever movie I wanted. I was super excited. When I got there, I noticed that Redbox had a movie you’d been wanting to see—What to Expect When You’re Expecting. Obviously, I wasn’t excited about that one. But, in the interest of putting your interests above mine, I rented that movie for you. Man, were you excited! And man, did that make me glad. But, in the interest of stating the obvious, I did not like the movie–the book was much better. In fact, I was bored to tears and zoned out for much of it. I’m sure you do something similar whenever I get a movie that has gangsters or fictional creatures or spaceships.

Day 351: An Attempt at Loving Others

There’s a 90-year-old lady who comes to our church, who’s friendly and caring, and who lives alone in a retirement community. She has some family in the area, but I don’t think they visit her often. I thought that it would be good, given her situation, to have her over to our house for dinner on Thursday as one of my/our acts of love for those in our community. I had been in contact with her about coming over, so Thursday was our planned time. But I couldn’t get ahold of her that day and I didn’t know where exactly she lived. So the dinner didn’t work out.

Instead, when we dropped our kids off at a church function later in the evening, I took you out to Flavor of India, a local restaurant that you’d been begging me to take you to. The food was outstanding and we both had an excellent time. Our server was super cool. He told us about India, including its culture and religion, and about the exotic land of Detroit, where his sister lives and is expecting a baby.

I’m super excited to go back there during lunch when they have their buffet. Although I enjoyed the food, it would be nice to have a bigger selection so we could sample all the different flavors of India.

Day 350: Weekly Article: The Death of Marriage

Cameron Diaz thinks that marriage is a dying institution. At least, that’s what this article on marriage says. In the article, Al Mohler responds to psychiatrist Keith Ablow’s thoughts on marriage, thoughts which reflect Diaz’s perspective. I thought the article was good and that Dr. Mohler was on point in thinking that marriage is crucial for human happiness and the organization of society.

I really don’t have much to say about the article. But I can say that I am glad to be in a life-long commitment with you and I’m thankful for the institution of marriage.

Day 349: Weekly Prayer: Your Fears

In her chapter on fear, Omartian talked about some things that some women sometimes fear. (These fears aren’t unique to women, but men—or at least I—sometimes fear them too.) A woman might fear physical danger, lack of provision for herself and her family, or what people think of her. I would add to that, that people often fear death (but what is the fear of death? a fear that one will cease to exist or a fear of meeting the divine in judgment or a fear of the process of death or something else?)

I prayed, for my 349^th act of love, that God would calm your fears. I prayed that the love of God would drive fear out of your life. At the same time, I prayed that you would fear God—the Creator and sustainer of the universe and your life and the one who will judge the living and the dead at the final resurrection.  Having said that, I’m not sure what an appropriate fear of God—a loving Father but omnipotent creator—looks like.

Anyway, I pray that God would cast out fear from your life. What reason do you have to fear? The God who loves you is also in charge of your safety, your provision, and your life. What he does with those things is for your good. And, what he, not your neighbor, thinks of you is what ultimately matters.

348: Loving Others: Rice and Beans

We’ve been trying to teach our daughters that they’re very blessed to have so much food to eat and so many clothes to wear. I want them to be appreciative of what they have and to be willing to give of their excess to those in need. The best way to get that across to them, I think, is by example. So, for act 348, we ate rice and beans for dinner and took the money that we would’ve spent on the rest of our dinner ($5, we estimated) and we gave it to someone who needed it.