Day 48: At the Car Wash

November 16, 2011

There’s something you love but rarely have: a clean car. We don’t wash it as much as we would like, because we have no way of doing it for free. And even when we clean it, it quickly becomes dirty–within a few days the outside gets dusty because we park by a field and the inside gets sticky, cluttered, crumby, smelly, etc., because of our kids (oh, the joys of fields and kids!).

Last night, while you atteneded a meeting, I cleaned the car inside and out at a self-service car wash. This wasn’t easy given that I had all three kids with me. We tried to get home before you returned so we could keep our gift a secret until you used the car next; instead, we arrived at the same time as you. Oh, well, it probably would’ve been dusty by the time you used it anyway. You really appreciated that I cleaned the car for you. Really. But, you delicately pointed out that, for once, the car didn’t need cleaned–two days ago, you vacuumed the car and it rained (yes, I count that as getting the car washed, which is why I get really excited when it rains). Oops. Also, I’ve been super busy lately, so I’ve had to do some work in the evenings. So, I let the dishes pile up last night. I guess I could’ve spent my free time washing the dirty dishes instead of our clean car. I didn’t really think this one through.

I’ve noticed some changes in me since I started 365 Acts of Love. Here’s one: throughout a given day, I’ll frequently and automatically consider, for a given action, whether or not that action would be for your good. Before starting 365, I would often act, and only afterwards consider how that situation might affect you. Or, I would act while simultaneously realizing that my action wasn’t for your good. But now, I often pause before committing an act to consider whether or not I would be loving you by that act. I can tell you that this has already preempted some fights. I’m getting amped typing about this because if this is what can happen in 48 days, think about what an entire year can do. We might just come out of this thing with a fantastic marriage. That’s the power of love! (I mean, the Spirit’s transforming work).


Day 14

October 13, 2011

This time, I did a very simple act: I wrote “I love you” on a piece of paper, dated it, and put it in your bra drawer. In the past, you complained about how little I tell you I love you. Perhaps your complaint has merit. I can say that I tell you I love you ever time you do. However, I don’t tell you very often without your initiation. That needs to change. But perhaps showing you I love you is worth something?