Not long ago, you told me that you need new clothes. So yesterday, I withdrew our entire clothes budget for January out of the bank (I realize it’s still December). When I came home, I took you aside and said, “I know you need some new clothes. Here’s some money. Use it to buy clothes for yourself and only for yourself.” You started to say thanks, but something I said or some look I gave made you laugh. You tried to hold it back, but ended up showering spit on my face instead. (I give you money for clothes and that’s how you thank me?!) We both laughed hard. After we gained our composure, you said thanks and gave me a hug.
On Saturday, I told you to go shopping with your mom for the day (that’s right–the entire day) while I took care of the older two girls. While you were gone, I took them on a daddy-daughter date. We went on a bike ride to a local hamburger place. They watched a puffer fish in an aquarium as they waited for their food (“Hey, that fish has pokey things all over it just like on Finding Nemo!”), then they wolfed down some chicken strips and fries, spilling two glasses of water in the process. Afterwards, we went to a nearby park where we played hide and seek. We had a blast! When we met you at home, we were expecting you to be excited out of your mind because of all the clothes you bought. You weren’t. Don’t get me wrong–you were very grateful for the chance to have a shopping day with your mom. However, you and your mom never got to go shopping. You were understandably bummed. Then, I felt bad as I told you about my amazing day with the girls and we both wished that you would’ve joined us. For this act of love, I guess it’s the thought that counts.
For my final prayer session (see day 34), I asked God to unite us so we could together have an impact on the world. I prayed that God would give us the grace we need to raise our kids in him and to love our friends, family, and the rest of the world. I want our marriage to serve as a witness to our kids and to the world that God is great and that a good marriage is possible! I want to spend our energy not on keeping our marriage tolerable, but on loving and serving each other and then together loving and serving others. We actually know some couples like this (unless they’re good at hiding things). We’re blessed to have one of them mentoring us.
PS: I (finally) organized my books (see day 20). I realize I took 18 days to finish, but in my defense, we were gone six of those days for a wedding. Now, all the books are either on the bookshelf or on my desk.
Yesterday I took you shopping. I gave you all our October clothes money for you to spend on yourself. You spent part of it on yourself and part on me, as I expected. Still, at least you could’ve spent it all on yourself. The trip exceeded my expectations. We both had a great time shopping for clothes, playing with our girls on the promenade, buying chocolates at See’s, etc. I usually don’t enjoy those trips since shopping gives me a headache. (Is is because I hate spending money? I don’t know.)
For my 9th loving act, I bought you your flowers for the week. I didn’t present them to you as a surprise, but we picked them out together while shopping for groceries at Trader Joe’s. You seemed pleasantly surprised, but strangely expectant of them. I hope that you come to expect me to daily do loving things for you as a result of this year. We talked in the past about how sometimes it seems as though we treat each other like roommates rather than lovers. May this year-long project cause that conception of our relationship to never enter our minds again.