September 1, 2012
On Wednesday (8/8), I was a little frustrated about 365 Acts of Love. I kept thinking about how far behind I was on the blog (I’m now even further behind) and I couldn’t think of what act to do for you. So, I asked you:
“Why don’t you pick my act of love for the day? This project is so tough. I can’t think of anything to do.”
“Okay,” you replied.
“You have to pick it today, it can’t be tomorrow, and it has to be something that I can pull off today. See how tough this—“
“A foot massage!”
“I want you to give me a foot massage. You’re so right–that was really tough!”
“Very funny. Now try doing that every day for a year . . .”
You quite enjoyed your foot massage.
August 9, 2012
While you were out of the house on Monday (7/23), I washed the dishes for you. It was your turn and, as I’ve discussed before, you hate washing the dishes. This act made you very happy. You kept thanking me over and over. Of course, seeing you happy made me happy. Serving you gratified me. May that happen as a rule.
August 9, 2012
I don’t think I ever committed in this blog to doing something on a weekly basis to educate myself about marriage. Still, I’ve been reading up on marriage every week for a while now. I think I’m committed to doing so until the blog’s done. So then, one act of week will be prayer for our marriage and one act of week will be educating myself on marriage.
A while back I wrote a post claiming that prayer and the gaining of truth about the nature of marriage are necessary for a successful marriage. Such is my reason for making these commitments.
Anyway, let’s talk about sex. For my 296th act of love, I read the chapter on sex and marriage from Timothy Keller’s The Meaning of Marriage. What an excellent chapter! Keller claimed that it’s a wife’s duty to have sex with her husband whenever he desires it. I’m kidding, I’m kidding! Actually, he claimed that even sex is an act of service and not primarily about pleasing oneself. That is, sex should be used to please one’s spouse as an act of love for one’s spouse, not (primarily) to gratify one’s own desires (I say “primarily” because being personally gratified by sex is a good thing, not bad). I really struggle with this. When it comes to sex, I am very selfish and typically think only about what I can get out of it. But Keller says that
sex is perhaps the most powerful God-created way to help you give your entire self to another human being. Sex is God’s appointed way for two people to reciprocally say to one another “I belong completely, permanently, and exclusively to you.” You must not use sex to say anything less.
I think my emphasis for 365 Acts of Love has been to change from being a person who is self-focused to being a person who is others-focused. This others-focus needs to permeate all aspects of my life, including my sex life (though that life should only be you-focused!).
July 16, 2012
I made us a special breakfast on Wednesday in honor of the Fourth of July. Here’s your plate:
May 13, 2012
I wanted us to (re)listen to the 4th CD of the Love and Respect Conference for Thursday’s act of love. When I suggested it, though, you said something to the effect that you were so exhausted that you only had enough energy to wash the dishes then go to bed. Tears formed in your eyes.
I was also exhausted. I’m talking about the head-throbbing, eye-burning, stomach-turning type. “It’d be nice if you could just skip the dishes and go to bed,” I said, “but they must be washed tonight.” You agreed. “What if I offer to wash them for her,” I thought. Everything inside me screamed “No!” at such a thought. Still, I blurted out, “Go to bed. I’ll wash the dishes.” “Are you sure?” “‘Yeah, I’m sure.” “I’ll tell you what. Why don’t you wash half the dishes, then I’ll wake up early to wash the rest,” you said. “Okay.” When you woke up in the morning, you were surprised that I actually took you up on your offer!
Before we got married, I never knew how much of a battle love is. It was certainly easy to “fall in love” with you. But when the intensity of those feelings faded, every day became an opportunity to decide who to put first, you or me. If I weren’t so self-seeking, perhaps willing the former would be easy. But, as it is, every day and even every hour is a battle to put your needs, desires, etc. first. To put you before me. May I stand strong in the midst of this battle.
April 19, 2012
For this act of love, I surprised you by making you this breakfast before I rushed off to work:
Afterwards, I realized that we had coffee, OJ, and chicken sausages on hand, which would’ve made the breakfast so much better. Still, you loved it and even thanked me by text while I was at work.
April 16, 2012
For this act, I told you I would do whatever chore you chose for me, which was one of the prizes from the game we played the other night. You said, “How about a back massage?” “That’s not a chore,” I replied. “It is to you,” you jabbed jokingly. “No, I mean a real chore. What chore do you want me to do?” “What if you make dinner on Monday when we get back from the church retreat?” In my mind, I started asking questions like “Is making dinner considered a chore?” and “What conditions must something satisfy to qualify as a chore?” Since I couldn’t answer those questions and I’d already denied your first request, I agreed to make Monday’s dinner.
I’m not sure if I ruined the game by giving you (or letting you claim) nearly every prize that you could’ve won, but who cares.
March 16, 2012
Tuesday marked the first day after I turned in my project that we had a chance to rest. We both needed it because we worked so hard these past few weeks that we nearly made ourselves sick. However, the kids woke up much earlier than usual, so we couldn’t sleep in as planned. So, for my act of love, I told you to sleep in while I watched the kids. I had a great time giving them a piano lesson and reading to them. When you woke up, it was 11. I’m glad you had the chance to get that rest, especially since it was because of me that you worked so hard.