Day 95: Surprise Dessert

January 3, 2012

On Sunday, we celebrated New Year’s by eating at Chili’s. After we finished our food, I excused myself from the table, approached the hostess, and asked her for a pen and paper. When she gave me them, I wrote this on the paper: “Just because I love you. –Chauncey” (Let “Chauncey” be my alias for the blog. Let’s call you “Francine.”) Then, I approached our server with the note and asked her to bring us the brownie and ice cream dessert with my note placed on the side.

When I returned to my seat, you asked me what I did. I shrugged my shoulders. You jokingly whispered, “You got up just to flirt with the server then?” I whispered in response, “That depends on which server you’re talking about.” (I know—those are terrible jokes.) Then you said, “Seriously, what were you up to?” I laughed nervously and my face turned red. The server honestly took 10 minutes to bring out that dessert and you grilled me the entire time. I nearly gave up the surprise to make you stop.

When our dessert finally arrived, you said, “Oh, Chauncey! You did this for me?! Look girls, dad bought us a dessert just because he loves us!” As you girls were eating the dessert, I asked if I could have some. You said, “Oh, did you buy this because you love yourself?” I said, “Didn’t you read the note? It says ‘Just because I love you, Chauncey.’” You laughed as you handed me a spoon.

When we got into the car, you leaned over to me and whispered in my ear, “I’m happy out of my tree that you did that for me, but I’m happier that you’re teaching our girls how guys should treat them.” As you said this, I reached around you and tapped you on the head with the book I was holding (yes, I see the irony in that). You grabbed the book from me, smacked me on the head (notice the lack of proportionality in your response), and said, “Are you ever serious? . . . Really, though, thanks for the dessert.” You’re welcome, Francine.


Day 93: Some Reflections on 2011

January 2, 2012

I fell a little behind over New Year’s, but I’m back. For my 93rd act of love, I wrote you this letter reflecting on 2011. I put it on the bathroom sink for you to find:

Hi Honey,

2011 was a great year for our marriage. We had fun together (we always have fun together). We laughed–a lot! We had some romantic moments. And we loved each other, though imperfectly. I’m so glad that we journeyed through this year together.

But not everything was good in 2011. At one point, you rightly noted that I’d basically stopped doing romantic things for you. I agreed. And at the time, I thought my lack of romance was one of the major problems in our relationship.

Since then, I’ve realized that it was simply a symptom of the major problem—my own selfishness. When I opened my eyes to this, I began to notice other ways in which my selfishness played itself out. It became evident to me that I consistently placed my own interests above yours and that this negatively impacted our marriage.

So, I decided to change. For the latter part of 2011, I attempted to be more romantic with you. I attempted to be less irritable, more patient, more understanding. In short, I tried to place your interests above my own. I’m still the same guy, but I think I’m changing. Praise God for that.

As I look ahead to 2012, I want to continue in my resolve to love you more. I want to be more romantic. I want to live with you in an understanding way. I want to treat you with respect. I want to value our relationship above all my other human relationships. I want to keep my thoughts and my way pure by having eyes for you alone. I want to be patient with you. I want to care for you.

I love you. May I love you in 2012.


Your Husband