My Man Break

June 8, 2012

I recently had a breakdown due to all the pink in my life. To help me through this, my cousin (with your cooperation) surprised me by taking me to see The Avengers.

While the evening afforded me an excellent man break, it didn’t start out very manly. When we stopped for coffee before the movie, I ordered the light roast, I drank it with cream in spite of my impassioned promise to drink it black, and I talked about the fitted polo I recently purchased from Express (for Men).

But once I snapped out of pink mode, things got really manly. We talked about glocks and police chases. We drank our coffee in gulps. We propped our feet up on the theater chairs in front of us. And we cheered as the Avengers obliterated enemy aliens and demigods using NYC as a battleground.

What a night! It’s been a while since I’ve seen a movie in which so many things get smashed and broken (unless you count broken hearts . . . but those are always mended in the end). A good man break was just what I needed to weather the storms of pink in my life. Thanks, Francine, and thanks, Cousin.

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My Pink Palace

June 7, 2012

I’m a man. And I live in a pink palace. But what should I expect? I share my space with four girls.

Sure, I’ve done some manly things in my time. But things are different now. I play with dolls. I go to tea parties. I watch “The Bachelor”—on the edge of my seat. I basically live and breathe pink.

A few days ago, the pink finally got to me. I felt like I was drowning in Barbies and babies and perfumes and pigtails and tutus and teacups. I had to get away. I had to expend some long-pent-up man-ergy. So, I went out to do something manly. I could hardly contain my excitement. There were so many possibilities! Like choppin’ wood or shootin’ guns or cliff diving.

How did I spend my man break? I went to our local coffee shop, ordered a medium iced coffee with cream, and sipped on it as I sunk into a plush chair. There’s something seriously wrong with that. I guess I’ve been pinkified so long that I’ve forgotten how to be manly.

But I was a man once and a darned good one. So know this: next time I get a break, I’m bringing manly back. Next time, I’ll drink my coffee black.