I made you a custom keychain for my 236th act of love: I went online and ordered you a key chain with a picture on it (of us eating at Joe’s Crab Shack for Valentine’s Day) and with “my hubby loves me” as a caption.
I can’t tell you how proud I was for thinking of this. I imagined you walking around with your fancy key chain, proudly displaying it to all your friends and saying to them, “see, my hubby loves me.” I imagined them getting jealous and asking their husbands why they don’t have a fancy key chain. I was so excited that I couldn’t wait the estimated 7 to 11 business days to melt your heart with my debonair deed.
So, I told you: “Guess what?” “What?” “I made you a key chain with our picture on it and under the picture it says ‘my hubby loves me.’ You’ll get it in the mail in a couple of weeks.” “Thanks . . . that’s super cheesy,” came your immediate reply.
When you said that, my deed no longer seemed to me debonair; rather, it seemed Napolean-Dynamite-esque and I wondered why I didn’t just build you a cake. “So,” I replied, “should I cancel the custom shirt I ordered? It’s purple and has a picture on it of us riding a flying unicorn through rainbows and waterfalls with floating castles in the distance.” (Okay, I didn’t say exactly that, but something like it.) “Yeah, maybe you should. But I’m looking forward to that key chain.”