On Friday, I graded tests at the Starbucks near your parents’ house. Before I left, I talked to Rose, one of the employees, to see if it would be okay for me to buy you a drink that you could pick up later. She thought that would be fine, so I paid for a Mocha Frappuccino and left a note that said, “just because I love you.” While you were out with your mom, I called you and told you to stop by Starbucks on your way back to your parents’ house and ask for Rose. When you did, Rose made you your drink and gave you your note. I saw you a few minutes later and you were giddier than ever. Looking back, I’m not so sure it was a good idea to excite you with a surprise, then pump you full of caffeine and sugar.
When I came home yesterday, you looked absolutely exhausted. “I think after the girls are in bed, I’m going to take a shower and go to sleep,” you said. I thought that sounded great. So later that evening, I put the kids to bed while you took a shower. The kids were easy (I don’t know why you were so worn out from watching them all day, haha!). After your shower, I suggested that you relax and watch the second episode of Once Upon a Time. While you sat down to watch it, I made you a cup of hot chocolate (you seriously love chocolate!). Then, I asked you if you wanted a massage while you watched your show. You looked confused, checked my temperature to see if I was sick, then said “Sure, but what got into you?” Apparently, I haven’t made it too obvious that I’ve been programmatically doing kind things for you. That’s good! So I gave you a foot, leg, and back massage. You said your relaxing evening was just what you needed.
For my fourth prayer session on my day of fast (see day 34), I prayed that God would help me love him more. That he’d give me the grace to desire him with all my heart. That I’d not turn to the things of this world for satisfaction, but to him since he’s supremely satisfying. As C. S. Lewis said, “We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.” Or, as St. Augustine said, “You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it rests in you.” May I be willing to give up everything to find satisfaction in the only one who can give satisfaction. God, I love you; help me to love you. The more I love God, the more I’m able to love you, my dear.
By the way, last night after your massage you asked: “Why haven’t you written me love notes lately? So you give me three love notes in the past few weeks and you think you’re done?!” I guess I need to add more love notes to my daily acts of love–or else!