Last night, I broke out our card games. I decided to play cards with you for yesterday’s act of love because we typically have lots of fun when we do (see day 19). I pictured us laughing, flirting, and being silly with each other. I pictured me winning a bunch of times and you losing a bunch of (Monopoly) money. I pictured you telling me I’m the greatest husband in the world and feeling my bicep. Overall, I pictured us having a good time. We did, but almost none of those things happened. We sat on the couch and played a single, quiet game of cards. Halfway through, you told me your feet hurt and needed massaged. I massaged them. If that was a ruse to get my mind off the game, it didn’t work–I kicked your butt (how romantic!).
Last night, I wanted to spend quality time with you by playing you at cards. In the past, we’ve enjoyed playing card and board games together and have even done this on dates at Starbucks. (Some people take games seriously, but not us–we’d choose LIFE or Chutes and Ladders over Settlers of Catan.) Anyway, you said you were too tired. At first, I thought “what am I going to post on tomorrow if you’re not interested in my loving act?” But then I decided to let you determine what I would do for you. You wanted a back massage. I gave you one, but it was halfhearted partly because I was tired and partly because I wanted to play a game instead. I thought I chose game playing as my loving act because you’d be blessed by it. But perhaps my reasons were selfish.
In committing to this year-long project, I’m committing to serve you and not myself. Forgive me for giving you a halfhearted massage simply because you didn’t want to play cards. (By the way, I’m still going to use my play-a-game idea as one of my loving acts. I’ll pick a night when you’re not so tired.) May I choose each act based on what would bless you rather than me. (Still, I’ll end up being blessed as well! “It is more blessed to give than to receive.”)