Day 125: Everyday Love

February 1, 2012

I liked Saturday’s act of love so much that I did it again yesterday—I waited until a need arose, then fulfilled it. In fact, I might make this kind of act a staple of 365. It makes me more perceptive to your needs—at least your needs at a given moment.

When I came home from work, our two older girls were running around like mad and you looked exhausted. During dinner, you told me we were completely out of toilet paper. Then after dinner, you looked in the freezer, rolled your eyes, and said, “You ate all the ice cream?!” But I didn’t let those things distract me from keeping a sharp lookout for some need of yours to fulfill . . . Actually, by one act, I turned your night around: I took the two crazies with me to Costco to buy toilet paper and ice cream (but let’s face it: ice cream’s a want, not a need).

In figuring out what you need from me, I’m considering everyday things like laundry, kids, and dishes as well as your psychological, spiritual, emotional, etc. needs. The latter are much more difficult for me to figure out than the former. But either way, loving another person seems so unglamorous.

Contrast this with a certain popular TV show in which droves of ladies vie for the affection of a single bachelor. All it takes to produce love, on this show, is a helicopter ride over Tahiti. And all it takes to fall out of love is a shift in emotions. The other day, one lady on the show said she divorced her husband of two years because her feelings for him changed. Maybe he should’ve taken her on a few more helicopter rides.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t think a marital commitment should be dependent on something so apt to change as feelings. As I see it, love does involve some romance and some moments that make you feel all toasty inside, but these things don’t exhaust love. Love is often everyday and unglamorous. It involves stuff like laundry and dirty dishes and screaming kids. And it’s characterized by commitment and service and choosing to love whether or not the feelings are there. Though I’ll work hard to romance you (indeed, that’s one of the points of this blog), I want our love to fundamentally involve a commitment to each other. And I want to everyday love you every day.